I awoke to what I thought was an earthquake. My bed was shaking violently, and I could hear the cries of a backpacker. O no, here we go again, just like Tokyo” I thought in panic as I prepared to make my escape.
But as I gathered my senses, I realized that these were not cries of fear but rather moans and grunts of passion.
To my relief, it was just sweaty drunken backpacker sex on the top bunk. An equally natural phenomenon yet one perhaps even more sleep depriving.
I unabashedly walked past them and into the corridor and relaxed in the hammock for about 45 minutes. When the coast was clear I returned to my bed in an attempt to sleep again.
As I approached the calm sea of sleep, the loft above suddenly erupted in a cacophony of squeaks and squeals appropriate to a cheap metal bed. It was another couple, even drunker and more vocal than the first. “Seriously!” I yelled in my head.
Once again I left for the quiet and cool breeze of the corridor hammock. After an hour I returned to my bed. This time sleep took me in just a few minutes.
Yet once again I was stirred awake. This time it wasn’t an earthquake but a flood. The floorboards of the loft above poured as if under a heavy monsoon.
In an instant, I realized that it was not rain water, but in fact the warm and abundant urine of the Mexican backpacker who had passed out drunk a few hours earlier.
Whether he had pissed the bed and it had soaked all the way through or whether he had thought the wall was the toilet , we may never know.
What I do know is that it was one of the most disgusting and angering moments in my backpacking career.
I was exhausted, it was now 5 in the morning and I had already accommodated two couples loudly fucking.
I’m pretty laid back and don’t easily get angry on the road, but this was the last straw.
“Hey you drunken son of a b*tch, you mother f*cker, go to the f*cking bathroom!”
When I heard no response, I gathered my pillow and blanket and hit the hammock for good this time.
And that’s how I got peed on for the very first time in Leon, Nicaragua.
In the end it though, it was all good hostel gossip and a good laugh.