The year, 2012, the date, a night before Easter, the place, the 13 ancient churches of Lalibela, Ethiopia.
After suffering through a night of used condoms and thumb sized cockroaches in the truck stop whore town of Waldeya Ethiopia, young Indiana Jones decided he was in need of some adventure. He threw his custom made CVS bought hybrid lawn chair rucksack over his shoulder and hit the road walking, his destination, the ancient and mysterious churches of Lalibela, in the Ethiopian Highlands.
After miles of walking, and hitchhiking on a few donkey carts and rickety cars, he arrived in the isolated town of Lalibela. Exhausted from his journey, the high altitude rays of the sun and the stares of curious townsmen, he discovered asylum in the decrepit walls of a run down motel. As he attempted to relax and bath himself in the shower, the hot water heater blew up and sent a debilitating electrical charge through his body. After picking himself up off the floor, he realized that something was not right about this town.
However it wasn’t merely the fact that he was just electrocuted that sparked his suspicions. He recalled the blank stares of the towns people, their occasional grimaces and the strange green tint of their teeth. He then realized that the green in their mouths was local flora known as “Chat,” a natural amphetamine that turns its users into zombie like states. Although apprehensive, he decided he would still venture out that night.
Earlier he had heard, from a sleepy looking man who incidentally fashioned the green mark of chat on his teeth, that there would be a special service held for Easter that night at the infamous stone carved Churches of Lalibella. He told Indiana that all of the towns inhabitants would attend and invited Indiana to join as well. Intrigued yet disquieted by this shady invitation, he agreed. That night, with his torch and pocket knife in hand, he ventured out into the darkness with little idea what to expect.
When he finally arrived at the site of the Church, he could hardly fathom the sight before his eyes. There were hundreds of people, cloaked in white, laying in all positions on the rock floor. And all of them appeared to be dead. Unsure whether this was some kind of sacrifice to god and not wanting to fall victim himself, he stealthily perched himself on the outer wall of the church. It was the perfect vantage point as it had multiple routes of escape.
Then, without warning, a congregation of strangely garbed priests appeared and commenced the ceremony with loud and ominous chanting. The pitch of their voices eerily grew and then faded like the sounds of a dying man. Captivated by the rhythmic chanting that had now been going on for hours, Indiana became lost in a world of death and rebirth.
When all of a sudden, he awoken from his hypnotic state by the touch of someone or something on his shoulder. He swung around with lightening speed ready to attack when he stopped himself, realizing with great relief that it was only the sexy Swedish girls he had met a few hours earlier. He greeted them as a gentleman would and together they ventured into the Church.
There they realized that the people in white were fortunately still alive. Some of them would wake in unison and on cue to the sounds of the priets. It led them to the conclusion that the ceremony must some how symbolize the rebirth of Christ. After all, it was Easter.
While there was no killing, swinging from his whip, or escaping from zombie like cannibals on this adventure, it still remains one of the most magnificent and formative events of young Indiana’s life. Check out the video below.