Now is the moment of truth, a mental fork in the trail, a decision to be made. If I go up towards the bright mountain top, I will have to be disciplined, enduring, and work hard. But if I head down to the swamp, I can simply meander there, entertain my laziness, and bask in a pool of regret and solitude.
Sometimes it feels so much easier to give in, stop writing, and numb my mind with endless episodes of Avatar The Last Airbender (awesome series by the way!). I don’t have to worry about writing posts on time, or obsess over whether the book will succeed or not. It’s easy, but God, Buddha, Vishnu and Allah knows that shit gets boring.
Besides, I’ve got a lot of exciting projects and travel plans in the works. I can’t hang out in this swamp forever.
The Book (s)
This is definitely the most exciting news. I have exactly 30,431 words complete. I figure I’m about half way done. It’s an extremely low grit sandpaper draft at the moment but it’s a good start and at least today, I feel proud of it. I’ve also come up with a tentative title, “Chasing Life.” Below is a short excerpt if you’re interested.Through invisible cracks in the train door a cool breeze wisps through the corridor. I sit with my back to the train wall, my arms around my legs, my muscles tense against the cold. My body sways with the undulating train car and my heart beats steady to deafening ‘click clack’ of the steel tracks just a few feet below. The beat is calming and my batteries are drained, but my mind won’t power off. Ever since we departed Paris around 4 hours ago, the events that unfolded this afternoon won’t stop replaying in my mind. I can see my mothers face clearer now in retrospect and it haunts me. I can see the sickening worry in her eyes and the newly formed wrinkles of pain across her forehead. I can hear her crying out, the way that only a mother can. I feel like puking but I know there won’t be anything to throw up. Suddenly we blast into a tunnel and the click clack of the tracks amplifies ten fold. The pandemonium is soothing and for a moment I allow myself to forget. Across from me are my new friends. Their outlines illuminated by a single dim yellow light. They look like they had just had an orgy and then simultaneously collapsed onto themselves into a deep sleep. I can just make out Katie and I stare at her with longing eyes. I don’t really like her that much but it would just be nice to connect with someone and maybe even cuddle with against this cold. My eyes wander through the dark and up to an adjacent window. I can see nothing but a slight reflection and the endless black world beyond. I wonder where we are right now? Are we still in France or have we entered Germany yet? We could actually be anywhere, I think to myself. We could even be in a black hole or traveling through another dimension. We might all be dead and be traveling to a deeper level of hell. It doesn’t seem impossible. The thought sends shivers through my core and I squeeze my knees up against my chest. God I hope I’m wrong.
I’m also really excited about another book I’m in the middle of writing entitled “How To Shit On The Streets.”
This book isn’t actually about shitting in the streets. It’s not about dropping trough in a busy intersection and letting lose. And if you are hoping to learn how to stealthily defecate in public, well you’re out of luck, and I think you might have some deeper issues to attend to.
The purpose of this book is to inspire you to travel and be inspired by travel. It’s about letting the emotional anxieties go and letting things flow. It’s about providing the spiritual fiber to help discover your fears and flush them away. It’s about preparing and transforming yourself, so that, if one day, you have no choice but to shit in the streets, a very plausible predicament if you’re traveling India, you will be empowered to do so.
In short, it’s a budget backpacking guide that addresses both the practical and emotional anxieties, which inhibit ones travel dreams from becoming reality.
The final project I’m excited about is called “Runaway Tours.” Runaway Tours are ultra budget backpacking tours modelled on my adventures.
They are designed to lead you on a backpacking tour through three of the best backpacking regions in the world; Central America, South East Asia, and Eastern Europe.
In short, these e-books will essentially be guide books. But instead of presenting a hundreds different options recommended by aging authors, they will lead you to my favorite secret spots, help you find the coolest hostels, and show you where you can eat for cheap.
I’m still on the fence about this project, so let me know if you’re interested or not.
I’m going back to Central America! More specifically, I’m headed to Antigua, Guatemala on November 16th. I plan to set up base there for a month or two and continue writing. Then I want to travel back down to Panama and create the the first Runaway Tour entitled, “The Gringo Trail.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve found my self at a crossroads. I’ve been here plenty of times before. But now I realize that the key to keep moving up the mountain is to take one step at a time. I can’t work on everything at once. It’s just too overwhelming. I also need to stop worrying about failure and keep looking ahead. And finally, I need to better cultivate the balance and discipline that will keep me moving forward. It’s time to climb up that damn mountain again!